Mortified of the frontal wedgie?

I swear, if I could make up stuff like this, I’m sure I’d find a way to leverage it into being a gazillionnaire or something. I’d never heard of a “frontal wedgie” (AKA cameltoe) until today.

If you ladies want to avoid the shame of the dreaded “frontal wedgie,” you’re in luck! You can purchase the solution. In fact, you can purchase AT LEAST TWO KINDS of solutions! Behold ye Camelflage, and CamelAmmo…

Camelflage panties are described on their website like this: “These aren’t your ordinary panty, they were specifically designed to smooth out your feminine parts under tight clothing.” BONUS: They include a “Before and After” section on the site, including the most hideously-photoshopped “After” photo ever! The lady portrayed there is SO lady-like, it appears she’s suddenly wearing a skirt. Or something that isn’t pants.

The second product has evidently undergone a name change or makeover recently, as the URL http://www.CamelAmmo.com redirects immediately to a much more insipidly-named website, “Bye Bye Lines.” There, women everywhere are exhorted to put their “best front forward” and to bid “farewell to frontal wedgies.” BONUS: This product is doctor-endorsed!

Here’s the scoop from Dr. Gina Gora, MD, PLLC, ABFM: “Medical research has found that wearing tight pants that ride up in the front can contribute to the frequency of UTIs leading to bladder infections and yeast infections. By using Bye Bye Lines family of products women can reduce these occurrences while feeling confident about their appearance and health.”

I would have just recommended not buying your clothes quite so tight. Also, for my fellow grammar nerds, please note that I’ve quoted Dr. Gora exactly – see image below.

via Sociological Images