March 15, 2011
O sea, Rodolfo Burgos. Oye, de verdad canta idéntico, ¡es increíble!
To my grand delight, I saw a video of the REAL Shakira meeting Rodolfo/”Shakiro” – and two things struck me.
1. Shakira seems so normal and nice!
2. Wait, Shakira’s only like 5 feet tall, that guy looks teeny next to her!
November 1, 2010
Now, Evo is in the news. This isn’t brand new, but I still can’t believe que ese man sea tan ignorante…Evo spoke at an environmental conference in Bolivia last week, supposedly a serious event. Some highlights:
First, chicken causes homosexual deviation among men:
“…el pollo que comemos está cargado de hormonas femeninas. Por eso, cuando los hombres comen esos pollos tienen desviaciones en su ser como hombres…”
Baldness is a European disease, and it doesn’t affect men of indigenous populations because they eat different kinds of food than their European counterparts:
“…La calvicie, que parece normal, es una enfermedad en Europa, casi todos son calvos. Y es por las cosas que comen. Mientras, en los pueblos indígenas no hay calvos, porque comemos otras cosas”, afirmó. Y sacudió su densa melena para demostrar que no padece alopecia..:.”
Coca-cola, gran enemigo del pueblo. Plumbers have used it to dissolve even the nastiest clogs:
“…Además, el gobernante lamentó el gran consumo de Coca-Cola y relató cómo un fontanero que no pudo desatascar una tubería con químicos optó por utilizar esta bebida como disolvente…”
Not even Dutch potatoes are safe – you’d better peel them or risk consuming chemicals that are contained in the peelings. Better would be to eat local tubers only – skin and all.
Finally, you better quit using disposable plates in favor of traditional earthen vessels (never mind many of these contain dangerous levels of lead).
April 19, 2010
Who is Pope Benedict’s father?
A. Montgomery Burns
B. Simon Bar Sinister
C. The Emperor from “Star Wars.”
Uncanny family resemblance. Thank you, Half Wisdom, Half Wit!
March 24, 2010
Mister Swing: Mr. Swing carries a gigan-tastic gym bag. From the window, I’ve seen him haul it out of the passenger side of his minivan. It’s seriously the size of a St. Bernard.
Mr. Swing himself, however, more closely resembles a Pomeranian, with a classic “Class 3” underbite. He’s probably in his mid-50s, very compact, extremely flexible, and chews gum.
Mr. Swing arrives, stashes his huge bag in the locker room, fiddles around on a few weight machines, and then stretches on the treadmill for about 20 minutes while listening to something in his headphones.
After that, he just rocks it. He prances on the treadmill for a good hour, lip-syncing with feeling, hips swaying with every super-duper fast step, and appears to just have a ball. He’s fun to watch, but intimidating to be next to on the treadmill.
GYM PEOPLE UPDATE! Buongiornio: I went the the gym the other day alone, since my gal pal C had to move. I bumped into Buongiornio in the free weights, and she asked where my workout partner was.
I told her she was moving, and that she’d be back the next day. Buongiornio hesitated a moment before asking, “Now, is she from Italy?” I smiled, and replied, “Actually she’s from Colombia, South America.”
Buongiornio looked stricken, and in a small voice said, “I don’t know why, but I thought you two were speaking Italian.” Now I was the one who felt uncomfortable. I grinned and brightly said, “Awww, we were probably fooling around or something on the day you heard us, but generally we speak Spanish.”
She looked marginally relieved, and scurried away as soon as she finished her set. I felt almost guilty for telling her the truth – Poor Buongiornio!