February morning

Just in time for the Superbowl: 110,428 calories of edible snack stadium!

Holy hoagie-blimp, Batman!

“Tailgating buses made of Twinkies and Ho Ho’s usher in legions of Doritos, Pringles and Chex Mix fans to watch olive-helmeted carrot sticks and uncooked Vienna sausages battle it out on the buttercream frosted field. From the Slim Jim goalposts to the Hershey Bar JumboTron, every detail of this 110,428 calorie athletic amphitheater is edible.”

via Slashfood

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What’s more, someone even took the time to calculate up all the specifics:

Snackfood Calories per serving Quantity Total calories
Twizzlers 1/100c 1200cal/bag 1200cal
Good ‘n Plenty 1/4c 1 bag 585
Sno-Caps 1/4cup=180c 1 bag 360
Hershey Bars 1pc/40c 600/block 600
Red Hots 1/3c 720/box 720
Mike and Ike 1/6c 560/box 560
Hot Tamales 20p/150c 400/box 400
Hershey Kisses 12pcs/355c 12 pcs 355
Pink Sugar Wafers 1/22c 550/bag 550
White Sugar Wafers 1/45c 1080/bag 1080
Crème Filled Cookies 1/55c 990/bag 990
Vanilla Wafers 1/14c 1200/box 1200
Choc Chip cookies 1/38c 2100/box 2100
Granola Bars 1/170 ½ box 680
Graham Crackers 1/19c 2 boxes 3600
Slim Jims 1/80c 4 pcs 320
Baby Carrots 210c/bag 210/bag 420
5 Layer Dip 735c/pack 735c/pack 735
String Cheese 1/60c 720/pack 720
Taquitos 1/74c 4 296
Cheez Its 1/4c ½ box 650
Triscuits 1/20c 1200/box 2400
Pringles 1/9c 900/tube 2700
Dry Peanuts 10z/160c 1120/can 2240
Honey Peanuts 38pcs/150c 1050/can 2100
Sun Chips 1/8c 1540/bag 3080
Popcorn 800c/bag 800c/bag 1600
Doritos 450c/bag 450/bag 900
Carmel Corn 3/4cup/120c 900/bag 1800
Tortilla Chips 1/17c 1120/bag 1120
Cheese Popcorn 750c/bag 750/bag 750
Wheat Crackers 1040c/box 1040c/box 2080
Peanuts w/Shell 1oz/180c 1260/bag 1260
Pretzels 1/3c 1320c/bag 1320
Sunflower Seeds 475c/bag ½ bag 238
Fritos 1oz/160 1440c/bag 1440
Chex Mix 1800c/bag 1800c/bag 5400
Waffle Pretzels 1/10c 1320c/bag 2640
Chicharones 640c/bag 640c/bag 1280
Mixed Nuts 1 oz/170c 5440c/jar 5440
Blue Chips 1/9c 2240c/bag 4480
Goldfish 840c/bag 840c/bag 1680
Wheat Sticks 1/6c 990c/bag 990
TortillaChips 1/14c 3080c/box 3080
Salami 1 lb 1lb 1380
Ham 1 lb 1 lb 483
Cheddar Cheese 1 lb 1 lb 1828
Swiss Cheese 1 lb 1 lb 1714
Ho Hos 1/120c 2 boxes 2400
Twinkies 1/150 2 boxes 3000
Chocolate Doughnuts 1/290c 2320/box 2320
Glazed Doughnuts 1/250c 2000/box 2000
Small Doughnuts 1/53c 1890/bag 1890
Cream cheese 770c 770c/jar 770
Graham Crackers 1/19c 1800c/box 3600
Vanilla Frosting 1400/can 3 cans 4200
Hot Dogs 1/45c 3 packs 1350
Hot Dog Buns 1/130c 4 packs 4160
Sliders 1/155 20 1550
Vanilla Frosting 1400/can 5 cans 7000
Vienna Sausages 1/23c 175/can 407
Black Olives 4/25c 275/can 300
Green Olives 4.75/1 12 57
Baby Carrots 210c/bag 210/bag 420
Pretzel Stubs 1/7.5 4 30
Dots 11p/130c 650/box 650

TOTAL: 110,428

Facebook Funny

Hee hee…

via FailBooking!

Do you suffer from GKS (Greasy Keyboard Syndrome)?

Well, suffer no more! You need Potechi Hand — the revolutionary potato chip gripper! Japan’s Takara Tomy, the manufacturer, integrates its revolutionary NBCS (No Broken Clutch System), NTTS (No Touch Table System) and FECS (Finger Easy Cleaning System) into a smoothly operating mechanism.

“NCBS ensures that the pressure-sensitive clutch mechanism inside the Potechi Hand gently grips any chip without breaking it. NTTS refers to the design that keeps the ‘fingers’ from touching the table or desktop. Last and not least, FECS rubs the device’s fingertips together in a mild circular motion, thus shaking off any loose, clingy crumbs.” It’s genius!

via Book of Joe

Sex Robots are here: Meet Roxxxy TrueCompanion

“Just imagine a motor attached to a person’s appendage. That’s what you’re effectively doing when you are engaging with her. So it’s a very erotic experience.” Whoa. WTF?!?!
Here’s another one you just have to see to believe. As for me, I’m going to need some eye bleach after the close-up of that thing’s mouth…

via Asylum

Do you follow the 7-second rule?

Hilarious flowchart from SF Weekly about how to respond when you drop food on the floor:

via SF Weekly

Do your aging lady bits need a makeover?

Feeling faded? Get immediate results with “My New Pink Button:” – a genital dye to make your private parts look pinker!
W.T.F. ?!?!?!?!!

In this eye-opening post from Sociological Images, you too can be horrified at just how harshly and intimately we are judging (and judged by) our appearances. Yikes…
From the website’s FAQ:
“Q. “Help! I’ve noticed I am turning a more brown color down there on my inside lips, is this normal”?
A. Yes, it’s perfectly normal and there are many factors that can contribute to this. Ethnicity is a big factor, also age, hormone change, surgeries, childbirth, sickness, health, diet and medications can all contribute to a change from “Pink” to “Brown” in a woman’s genital area.”

via Sociological Images

Who doesn’t love videos of cute cats?

I can’t think of anyone!

Here are two that made me grin today:

Buddy, the lazy:

and Kitty, the conversational:

via Urlesque

Seattle’s Theo Chocolate Helps Haitian Relief Effort

Theo Chocolate in Fremont is donating profits from two popular bars toward Haitian relief. The money from sales of both the Theo’s 45% Classic Milk and the 70% Classic Dark chocolate bars will go toward clean-water efforts by the NGO CARE.

via Voracious

Cute Things Exploding

This is really funny, even though it feels marginally sick. I ran across a post full of what appears to be a new cool thing to do: make cute things explode!

Here are a couple of examples, and more can be found at this great post on Urlesque.

via Urlesque